:: Tanvier's Time Machine ::

আজ পবিত্র ঈদ উল আজহা। বিলেতের সবাইকে ঈদের শুভেচ্ছা জানাই। বোনাস হিসেবে একটি কৌতুক। কৌতুকটি আজ মেহের এর কাছ থেকে শুনলাম। যখন 'নাসা' প্রথম মহাশুন্যে নভোচারী পাঠানো শুরু করলো, তখন তারা আবিষ্কার করলো যে শুন্য 'ভর' এ (Zero gravity) বলপেন কাজ করছে না। এই সমস্যা মোকাবিলা করার জন্য নাসার বিজ্ঞানীরা ১০ বছর এবং $১২ বিলিয়ন ব্যয় করে একটি কলম আবিষ্কার করলো যা শুন্য ভর, পানির নিচে, উল্টা করে এবং ৩০০ ডিগ্রী সেলসিয়াস পর্যন্ত তাপমাত্রায় লেখা যায়। কিন্তু রাশিয়ান বিজ্ঞানীরা শুধু পেন্সিল ব্যবহার করেই কাজ চালিয়ে যায়।

Harry Potter is 18 now, and now that all the books have been published, he now needs a part time job while carrying on his studies. So he applies for a job. Below is the CV he submitted with the application for the job. Name: Harry Potter Address: 12, Grimmauld Place, London. (Can also be contacted via 'Owl Mail') Date of birth: 31 July 1980 Objective: Find and destroy Voldemort and all of his ‘Horcruxes’(pieces of Lord Voldemort's nasty soul). Education: Ordinary Wizarding Level (O.W.L.) examinations : Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry , Scotland. Currently studying from home for the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test (N.E.W.T.) Achievements: Denied immortality although had held the philosopher’s stone. Found a secret chamber. Killed a giant snake and destroyed one of the ‘Horcruxes’. Befriended a werewolf. Won the Triwizard championship. Faced the dark Lord Voldemort three times and survived. Taught the classmates the defence magic when teachers refused to tau...

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool...

We bought a cow today for the Qurbani. That’s not what this blog is about. It’s about how we brought the cow from the cattle market to our house. I’ll remember this day for rest of my life. Let’s jump into the journey from cattle market to home then.. Me, my dad, Bindi, Towhid and Nuru went to cattle market this evening. We bought the cow from the cattle market of sector 6, Uttara. After we bought the cow, while we were waiting to end the formalities of the buying, the cow scared a boy and the boy dropped about 50 notes of 500 taka. They were all in the mud. We were all laughing at him, little did we know about our imminent future! We had to cross a dual carriageway to get home. The dual carriageway is about a mile away from our house. We managed to cross the dual carriageway with some difficulties, as soon as we went on the pavement, a taxi cab beeped at the cow and the cow went erratic. It pulled all three of its strings and ran away from us. In the process it dragged Bindi to the gr...

Dress Code: You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a pay rise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay rise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay rise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad...